guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
