Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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