i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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