i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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