Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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