Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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