I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize