Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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