omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
