Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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