No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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