I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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