Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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