Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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