we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize