then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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