like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
