That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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