They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
