Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
