Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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