just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
