yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
