Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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