Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she peed on how many people?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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