My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
