I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
