You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
