remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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