Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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