I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
