chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
