just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
from now on my penis is your penis
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
