how can u be prego again
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
