All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.