Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.