My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She needs sedatives and a leash
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?