Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.