i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.