but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.