So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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