Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
