the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
