I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
