Porn is love you can see.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
