Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
