How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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