he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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