you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
