Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
