I am puke
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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