Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
