Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
