Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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