My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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