I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
