Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
