Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
