Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
