I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize