So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
