Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want her autograph on my taint
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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