you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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