The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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