If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
