they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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