I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
