I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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