She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
