I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
