Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
