you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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