So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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