I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
