real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Who died my cat blue again?
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