Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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