If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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