I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
