At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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