its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's rum buckets o'clock
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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